smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
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we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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