So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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