I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize