Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
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You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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