The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I need to stop coming to work sober
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize