Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
