Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How external is "for external use only"?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
