We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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