i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
