Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
