Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
