He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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