hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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