ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
