oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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