I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
