sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
