Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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