you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
