Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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