Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can text with my tongue
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
