OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I want to fling myself into the sun
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
