This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
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