i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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