It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
