Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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