Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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