Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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