Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
