He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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