Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
