I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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