dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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