tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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