went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
