I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
