Just cropdusted the office
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
