what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
