on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
