how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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