we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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