Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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