I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He did a backflip because drugs
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