her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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