How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
