thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
