its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
