I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
