What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
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Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
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Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize