idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
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I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.