sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
