I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
