I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."