Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize