He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
