im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.