Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
