High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
