I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
