Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
